Interview with Paum Fritz
Recently, on a layover in Belgium, I had the opportunity to meet and talk with Paum Fritz, who has had a global impact on food. The following is the extended interview, conducted at his fabled Chez Paum in Brussels, which will be published in June in World Food Traveler Magazine.
AC – Hello Paum, thanks for sitting down with me for this interview. First let’s get your country of origin settled, where were you born?
PF- I was not born in France, but in Belgium. My ancestors were originally Peruvian, who moved to Spain. Not Ireland.
AC - When did you first realize your worldwide popularity?
PF - Well, because my relatives were so well-traveled, we got along with many cultures. The Italians love us, they got bread and gnocchi from us, and also a starch for the linens for the Mass. So we were able to follow the cultivation of Christianity, because we were necessary for so many things. The Russians and the Poles saw our higher spirit, and interposed us into their ritual of fire with the al-ambic that they had seen and brought back from the Mid-East during the Crusades.
AC - What about the Irish?
PF - When we were traded from Spain, the Irish thought we were low hanging apple plants. Some said it was Sir Walter Raleigh who was responsible, but there is no mention of his name in my family archives. Anyway, the Irish were able to cultivate a relationship with my ancestors and lots of new little Paums starting popping up all over the country.
AC - So where do the French fit in? And why do the Americans call you French fry? Did you do something to anger the American people? Are you short?
PF - Absolutely not! First of all let me explain. When the Flemish language was too hard for another empire to learn they just imposed their language on the land they had conquered. That was the French language. The Belgians are not French, not that we have a big problem with the French. At least not as big as the Americans do. The Americans think tomatoes are Italian and we all knew each other back in the old days in Peru. In fact we often met and got stewed together. Thomas Jefferson called anything fried, French. The Canadians have the same issue, at first people think they are from the US, don’t you know? Eh?
AC - So this whole idea of cutting up and jumping head first into the heat inside a vat of hot oil, where did this come from?
PF - First of all, it was feet first and into boiling hot horse fat. We may be sacrificing ourselves but let’s make sure how and with whom. Anyway, that’s the real way. Not in canola oil or butter or EVOO. Hot horse fat. Quick, painless, delicious.
AC - This name that came up a few years ago, Freedom Fries, did you have anything to do with it?
PF - Actually, hundreds of years ago, that name was given to us by America. Paul Revere was astounded to learn that Jefferson was frying in horse fat, and so he stole a bushel of Paums and ran through the countryside throwing them at bells saying ” Let freedom ring and let them fry in oil. Let them be called freedom fries.”
This was documented in the family archives of John Paul Jones and his great-great-grandson, House Representative Walter Jones took it from the pages of his family history. He did so at the urging of House Representative Robert Ney, who was later disgraced and forced to resign following the revelation of his relationship with Jack Abramoff. They should have never messed with Paul Revere and John Paul Jones, two patriots who loved us.
AC - Last question, what has been your favorite destination in the last 50 or so years? Where do you just love to go, who do you love to be seen with? What is your legacy to the world?
PF - My legacy is set in history. But I do love to visit France, especially the French Riviera in summer. I get a great tan there, and people seem to love me au natural. I don’t like the way they treat me in Britain and I don’t like being called “Chip.” In America I tend to like the West coast best, and love to hang with my friends at In-N-Out all along the seaside. Because I like the ocean, I also get along well with salt. He prefers beer, while I enjoy a French Sancerre or a Sicilian Grillo.
I don’t like ketchup or mustard (that Sling Blade guy was so very creepy), or Cheez Whiz. Two of my favorite exotic stops are Greece (I love that little Garlic-yogurt mix) and Pakistan (also love that mint-cilantro mix they dip me in). I will tolerate a well made mayonnaise. Oh, and I’m more of a mussel than a meat man.
But I am happy with glass of crisp white wine, a shaker of salt and a breezy summer day by the beach, that’s my idea of freedom. I’m lovin’ it.
Currently Alfonso Cevola writes On the Wine Trail in Italy three days a week. The other days he works with his therapist on a screenplay called, “The Dillusionist”, which has been optioned by a major motion picture studio in Hollywood.
Editor’s Note: Yes, this is very tongue in cheek.
